So, you and your girlfriend broke up, called it quits, threw in the towel.
You’re hurt, right? You’re sad, wondering where things went wrong, analyzing your relationship like Dr. Phil.
Well, she is probably also sad, wondering where things went wrong, analyzing your relationship like Anne Landers.
In fact, she might be thinking about your relationship so much that she may even be desperate for you to “win her back.” Even if she swears she’s done, her desperation can linger.
Maybe she told you that it’s over. Maybe she told you that she doesn’t love you anymore. Or maybe (if she’s really pissed off) she told you that she never really loved you at all. And now she’s dating someone else.
You probably think that you have no chance at getting her back.
But, believe it or not, none of this – not what she’s said or who she’s dating – has anything to do with whether you can get your girlfriend back.
You might be scratching your head, wondering how this could be. Well, it’s actually pretty simple: there’s something she wants, something that only you can give her.
There’s a secret to the female psyche that many people don’t know about – this secret is the key to overcoming her resistance and getting her back once more. It’s this secret that is the difference between letting her slip away, forever in another man’s arms, or getting her back, holding her in your arms forever.
To understand the secret on how to get your ex girlfriend back, you must understand how women think.
Not one of them wants to fall in love with a guy, give him their heart, their body, and their soul to only breakup. Not one of them wants to make memories, laugh at inside jokes and dream up plans for the future to only have their heart ripped away like a scab covering a gaping wound. Not one of them wants to invest in a relationship, only to end up emotionally bankrupt.
To put it simply, the instant she started dating you, she wanted things to go the distance.
Each step she took with you as her partner was a step into the future. Each step she took with you as her mate was part of a bonding experience. Each step she took with you as her lover helped make her feel closer to you. Each step was a step towards something bigger.
But, alas, she got to the point where she wanted out – she didn’t see how to make her investment pay out in the long run. She tried – maybe she told you what was wrong, how she was feeling, exactly what was making her so unhappy. Perhaps you even listened, but, still, she didn’t feel as if you truly understood. She felt as though your relationship was stuck in the movie Groundhog’s Day – it was the same issues over and over again.
She was all in on your relationship – that’s usually how it works with women (they give themselves completely to the man they love). She was all in, but she wasn’t sure if you were. So, she folded.
She felt drained emotionally, unable to see any way the relationship could work. But she was also prideful, finding pain in facing the disappointment of your failed union. She told you the same ol’ things:
- “I can’t do this anymore.”
- “I’ve fallen out of love with you.”
- “I’m not sure if I ever really loved you.”
But, why does she say these things when they aren’t really true?
If your relationship had a soundtrack, this where the music would get loud and intense – things are about to get interesting. You see, even though she knows she worked hard on making your relationship work, she still blames herself for its demise (at least in part). It’s easy for her to tell you it’s over – it’s self-protective.
Really, it’s human nature – we all find it easier to be mad than hurt, easier to give up than risk having hopes dashed. If she can successfully convince herself that she no longer loves you, then maybe the pain in her heart will start to dull.
Once you understand this, your proverbial cape is secured – the stage is set for you to come to the rescue. The quest to get her back has begun.
Because this fact remains: if there is any way she can see things working out with you, she’ll be back in your arms, content to know that what you had wasn’t a giant waste of time.
The reason for this is simple: you know her. She’s comfortable with you. She’s been intimate with you. You’re aware and accepting of her vulnerabilities. You love her for who she is, not want she aims to be.
She doesn’t want to go through the awful process of starting over with someone new. Dating, like it is for most people, is a giant, terrifying pain in the neck. She’d rather return to you.
But it’s not that simple. She’s still hurt, a hurt you caused. In a way, this gives you power – you’re the only one who can heal her hurt because you’re the one who caused it.
Sure, she can meet someone else. She can go out to the bars, ask to be setup, sign up for any of the bazillion online websites, but part of her heart and soul will be left behind. And, of course, there will be a scar, the scare of hurt. This will make her a little more jaded, a little more bitter, and a little less open to letting her heart lead by you.
She doesn’t really want to meet someone else; and you don’t really want that either.
And the end of this, can be a new beginning of something new with her.
She only needs you to demonstrate to her that things can actually work. Once you do, she’ll be able to drop her defenses and go running back to you.
By getting her back, you prove to her that you did listen, that you do love her, and that you will love her from this point on.
All you need to do is make her feel emotionally safe. It starts right now.
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