In a relationship, there are many reasons why men pull away (just as there are many reasons why women pull away).
Men might pull away because they’re no longer interested or they might pull away because they’re too interested.
They might pull away because they’re intimidated or not intimidated enough.
They might pull away because of reasons that have nothing to do with the woman they’re dating or reasons that have everything to do with the woman they’re dating.
Yet, even with all these possibilities, three reasons are still most common. If women can avoid these, they’ll decrease the odds of their man shutting himself off, decreasing the chance of losing him forever.
Number One Reason Why Men Pull Away: They Feel Suffocated
A woman doesn’t have to put a pillow over her boyfriend’s head to suffocate him, simply being needy is enough. But, hold on a second, things are about to get complicated.
Anyone who has ever gone to the movies, with the recurring theme often being the rescue of the damsel in distress by the knight in shining armor, knows that men like to be needed: they like to have their opinions valued, to be rescuers, to fix things. But there is a fine line between being needed and being what we’ll call “needied.”
Being needed is one thing – it’s nice, it’s healthy, it’s natural. Being needied, on the other hand, involves tipping the scales until the man can’t handle the weight.
When a man is needied, his is expected to give up his former life for couplehood.
Women who perpetuate this often want their man to give up hobbies, stop seeing old friends, quit working long hours and only engage in activities that two people can do together. Before too long, a tandem bike is purchased.
This scares men, as they are forced to choose between being the person their girlfriend wants them to be and the person they are. They try to make things work for a while, but before too long, it all becomes too much and the man does what he feel he has to: he walks out the door.
Number Two Reason Why Men Pull Away: They Aren’t Being Challenged
One of the truest rules of human nature is that we all want things we can’t have. The toddler who wants the toy someone else is playing with; the woman who covets another girl’s man; the executive who longs for a job outside of the corporate world – there is a reason the grass always appears more appealing on the other side.
This concept applies to relationships – men want women they don’t think they can have. That’s why they love the chase.
Now, of course, this isn’t completely cut and dry. Men do want what they can’t have, but they won’t chase someone they truly can’t have forever (that’s a waste of a time and a blow to the ego). The compromise is the thing that works best: a challenge.
Men like women who challenge them. So do women – this is, perhaps, why nice guys (those who let others walk all over them) finish last in the world of dating. Everyone wants a little challenge now and then.
A man who isn’t being challenged, who finds his relationship too easy, isn’t going to receive the satisfaction he needs and, as a result, is going to look for greener pastures.
Number Three Reason Why Men Pull Away: They Aren’t Ready
The man who is afraid of commitment is a little stereotypical, created with the same brush that paints the woman as a nag. Still, stereotypes are often stereotypes for a reason – many men do have a problem with commitment, particularly when compared to their female counterpart.
Still, men do commit – if they didn’t, there’d be much fewer marriages and divorce attorneys would be super sad. They commit, but on their own time.
Women have a biological clock. Even many women who aren’t planning on having children still feel compelled to get married and settle down. Men feel this too, but they have a different time frame. That’s why patience is key.
Trying to get a man to get on board with commitment too soon is a mistake women commonly make. It’s off-putting, relationship harming, and annoying. It’s also bound to cause a man to flee, yelling “Freedom” in his best Braveheart impression as he does.